For parents about a child with Down's syndrome

Hi mom, hi dad.

I am glad that we are getting to know each other better. When I was born, you probably didn't expect to hear about Down's syndrome. You were expecting a "different" child and didn't know anything about my peculiarity. Let's figure it out together. I will tell you how to communicate with me and how to help me develop so that I become confident, self-reliant, and independent. Everything I learn in the first years will be very useful for my adult life in society.

Ideas to help us communicate

I adore being with you, my mom and dad, so please look at me often, smile and talk to me. This way I will feel that you are my family, I will get to know you, and you will get to know me better.
It is important for me that my family knows about my syndrome. Tell them what I'm like and what I like. Tell about my strengths and challenges. Don't be afraid that I won't get along with my grandparents, sister or brother. We will definitely become friends, but maybe not immediately, not on the first day.
Talk to me more often and tell me what you are doing. I want to understand what is happening around me. Tell about your and my actions during meals, dressing, and diaper changes. This is how I learn to understand causes and consequences, sequencing and planning. This is the basis of my development.

Don't forget to greet and say goodbye to me, respect my personality, and warn me about anything that will happen to me. After all, I'm not that big yet, I don't have experience, and I may not immediately understand what you want me to do.
To help me understand that we speak the same language, repeat some sounds and movements after me. It's fun and beneficial.
When we play and communicate, make pauses. I'm learning and I can't do anything instantly. To make it easier for you, please pause for 3-5 seconds and wait for my reaction.
Speak to me in simple sentences and clearly. Use gestures. This will make it easier for me to understand you and feel the joy of communication.

Ideas that will help me develop and become independent

Like all other children, I learn by watching you, copying your actions, and doing things on my own. Let me be involved in all family affairs. The more I observe, the more I try to do it myself and the more I learn. Everyday activities such as eating, dressing, and walking can be a great way to train my skills and strengthen my muscles. Due to hypotension and other features, it may be difficult for me to perform these simple actions, but the more often I practice, the easier it will be for me to do them.
Teach me to believe in myself and let me do things myself. I know, you'll dress me faster, feed me more tidily, and be able to clean up my toys better. And I do it all long and sloppy. But how can I learn if I don't try? Ask yourself: "What can my child already do on his or her own when eating, dressing, and washing hands?" And then let me always do this myself. Set aside extra time for this, be near, wait patiently, and give me hints.
Organize the space for me. First, for playing on the floor. This way I can safely but actively use our home, move around and strengthen my muscles. When I grow up, I'll need a low table and chair for my studies, so it will be easier for me to concentrate. The safer and more properly arranged the space is, the less you will have to forbid me to do anything.
The most useful classes for me are those, in which I am interested, actively participate and enjoy the process. Let me choose my own games, support them and play with me. Have fun and play. Give me the opportunity to influence the course of events. This will make me more confident.
Praise me. My successes may be small and they are hard to notice. Then I will try even harder.
Teach me how to perform different tasks. Invite me to draw or sculpt at the table, teach me to finish what I have started. Yes, it's hard for me to do this. Tell me what you think, and we'll learn together.
Teach me to respect the common rules of the family. I didn't know this before. It seems that you had formed your own interests and rhythm of life before I was born. I see that each of you has favourite activities and hobbies. There is a certain time when everyone sits down to dinner, and there are joint classes on weekends. Do not subordinate your life to me and my desires. Teach me to respect others. Familiarize me with the daily routine and family rules.

Tips and tricks to help me make friends

Like other children, I want to walk, talk to different people and see the world. So please take me with you on visits, walk with me, take me to playgrounds and shops. I am interested in everything around me.

During joint games with children, we observe each other, repeat interesting ideas, and share (or not) toys. Such games are very exciting and useful! Sometimes I have to defend my interests or make compromises: in one case, I hold the toy tightly and say "no" loudly or shake my head, and in the other case, I share it. I don't always like making decisions, but I have to learn! I must decide what to do and when to do it on my own. In the meantime, I am counting on your help.
In a new place, we may encounter looks of misunderstanding, confusion, or unpleasant questions. Of course, we don't have to explain anything to anyone, but there are words that will remove misunderstandings, questions, and tension. Find words that are easy for you to say, for example: "My child doesn't talk yet, but he likes to play together, I'm here to help him understand", "He's three, but he acts like a two-year-old", "My child is in a diaper, he has a syndrome, we will learn to go to the toilet later". And most importantly, know that everyone can make decisions about themselves and their child, people can leave on their own, but they have no right to send us away. We won't be liked by everyone, but we can find our friends if we stay in a circle of other people.
Whether they accept me or not depends on how much you, my parents, accept me. You are confident that I am a cool kid, not because of how noticeable my differences are. So don't worry that my mouth is a bit open. My muscles will get stronger when I eat solid food. I will learn how to control them by looking closely at your face and repeating the movements of your lips. Over time, I will learn how to drink from a straw, blow, and many other things. Believe me, I will learn to shut my mouth too, but not right away. Don't rush me. I'm cool now, and my differences will always be noticeable.

Advice on what additional specialists we will need

We will need the help of specialists from an early age - from the moment of discharge from the maternity hospital. A physical therapist, speech therapist, and psychologist will help me develop in the best possible way and avoid many difficulties. The knowledge and ideas of the experts will help to make our ordinary life as similar as possible to the lives of the families in which my peers are raised.

Of course, you already know that Down's syndrome cannot be cured. However, there are diseases that are very similar to the manifestations of the syndrome. A special examination plan developed for children with Down's syndrome will help to avoid many problems. Please examine me for hypothyroidism. Its manifestations are very similar to those of the syndrome, but it's treatable! Regularly check my hearing and vision, make an audiogram. It is difficult for any child to develop if he or she cannot see or hear well. A cardiologist, orthopaedist and neurologist must also monitor me. You can get professional support from the Early Intervention service. Find out if there is the Early Intervention centre near you.

My mom and dad, we have a long way to go together. I know that there will be difficult moments along the way. Nevertheless, one day, when you look back, you will be surprised at how much happiness, laughter and joy we shared with each other. We have taught each other and those around us a lot.