I'm a child with autism spectrum disorder

Do you want me to tell you what the words in my diagnosis mean? ASD

Disorder. There are many myths surrounding autism, and it arouses curiosity and interest in many people. Some people see it as magical abilities. Believe me, autism is very difficult. That is why a Disorder.

I was diagnosed with autism at an early age (2 years old). Now I am a girl with autism, and when I grow up, I will become a woman with autism. I am developing, but autism is still with me. Autism is a developmental disorder.

The Latin word autismus means "self". All people with ASD have impairments in two areas: impaired social communication and repetitive restricted behaviours.

Spectrum People with autism are very different from each other. Some will become successful engineers or artists, while others will have great intellectual difficulties. Therefore, the spectrum...

Scientists have worked hard and are still working to find out why this is happening, why I am different. Openings appear every day. Perhaps tomorrow they will know for sure.

But today it is believed that ASD is genetic in nature. I have a neurodevelopmental disorder in my brain.

My neurons have too much activity in some areas of the brain. Therefore, I process the information that comes to me in an atypical way.

What does "atypical" mean?

My thresholds of sensations are very different from yours. What is normal for you can be a challenge for me, or it can be completely unnoticeable.

We receive all information about the world through our sensory systems. We see, hear sounds and smell, taste and feel touch, our bodies and their position in space. We all receive information. And that information (individual signals) allows us to understand the world and adapt to it.

Our difficulty is perceiving and processing information from the world around us. Some people are calm about such ordinary things as metal scraping against glass, while others cannot stand it. It's not just unpleasant, these sounds cause a strong emotional outburst and take all attention. I can't stand many ordinary things. A look in the eye or a touch is like a burn for me. On contrary, I hardly notice loud sounds. Other children with ASD have their own unacceptable and unnoticeable feelings.

I think in pictures, and you think in generalized images.

Scientists have called this photographic or visual type of thinking. If I you say, "Table." It will be absolutely clear to you what it is. In addition, I will be confused, because in my memory I have pictures of a baby table, a dining table, and an office table. They look different, what did you mean when you said "table"? I can't mentally choose the right picture. I think in separate pictures. And you are in images.

I can memorize and reproduce information much better than you.

I easily memorized the names of the shapes, I know much more of them than the other children in the sandbox. But I don't understand the meaning of proverbs, sayings, and poetry at all. I take them literally.

I think in pictures and am very attentive to details. I don't see the big picture behind them.

I can look at all the wrinkles on my mother's palm for a long time, I know them by heart, but it's hard for me to understand that these wrinkles, together with the palm, are my mother's hand, and with the hand, my whole mother, you know? So I take my mother's hand, not even paying attention to my mother, my universe is every wrinkle in her palm.

I hope you've already realized that I see the world differently, so I behave differently. My behaviour is unusual. Many people think that this is naughtiness and ill-manneredness. You already know that this is not the reason.

Let me talk about the manifestations of autism in sequence:

Often I wave my hands in front of my eyes, sway, and stand on tiptoe. I need such sensory experiences, they help me maintain a balance of sensations. For example, when the sun is shining in your eyes, you put on sunglasses and reduce the intensity of the light. And if I am tired of looking around, I wave my hands in front of my eyes and see only my hands and nothing else. This way I get less information. Other children may rock in a chair or while standing, spin, jump in one place, put different objects in their mouths, hum, and many like heavy blankets or vests. This is how we restore our balance of sensations and emotional equilibrium.

If I am forbidden to support myself in this way, I might have a hysteria. In addition, tantrums happen when I'm tired or facing a difficult situation. For example, I really want something, but I can't show it. Just like ordinary children. But keep in mind that I am very straightforward: if I feel bad, I scream so that you can hear me very far away. And sometimes I also bite my hand and hit myself on the head.

I can't stand to look other people in the eyes and avoid touching them. I avoid it with all people, close and unfamiliar. I go to the hairdresser, shops and clinic just like everyone else. When they touch me there, I resist fiercely and throw tantrums. Although it can be different.

In order to calm down, I need to be somewhere quiet and alone. I have a special tiny house at home for this purpose. On the street, my mom and I can just step aside.

Unlike other children, I do not look for opportunities to play together. I prefer to play by myself.

I play with toys in my own way, for example, I like to look at my hands from a special angle, and I like to tear paper slowly and monotonously. I have a construction set at home, and I often arrange its parts in even rows, by colour and size, for a long time.

It is difficult for me to communicate with other people because it is difficult to understand them.

I don't understand pointing and facial expressions. I just see someone waving one finger. In general, it is difficult to draw my attention to what is important and interesting to you (not me).

I don't understand where you are looking. I can't tell from your face whether you are happy or angry.

It's hard for me to understand the speech. That's why I didn't respond to my name for a long time. And now I can sometimes ignore it too.

Other people don't understand me either.

I don't use gestures.

I, like you, can be happy, angry, wary, but I don't share my emotions even with close people, I don't look them in the eye with joy, even if I'm angry with them, I don't look at them the same way.

I need help just like everyone else, but I rarely ask for help, but I can use another person's hand as my own.

I started speaking much later than my peers. At first, I spoke some words without knowing their meaning. My first word was "bench," and I really liked the way these sounds clicked. Now I talk a lot, but I talk about myself in the third person, for example, "Katya wants to go home."

Predictability of events is very important to me. I am very afraid of strangers and unexpected sounds. I hate unfamiliar routes, and I won't even pick up unfamiliar toys. My mother and I always take the same route to the store, and on the playground, I first pour sand, then go swing, and never do it in any other order.

I am very attached to familiar and predictable things. I watch only two cartoons and one YouTube channel with a mister in a checkered shirt. I eat only familiar food and only from my own plate. It takes me a long time to get used to sandals, and I've been wearing only one hat for two years now. This is not a whim, for me predictability is the key to my safety. Getting used to something new can take all my energy.

There is no cure for autism, doctors can only make a diagnosis. But there are psychologists, speech therapists, and physical therapists who help me a lot. However, even they couldn't make me an ordinary child. I will continue to have difficulties with communication and my behaviour will not become "diligent", so I really count on your understanding. I have potential and abilities. I can notice something that no one else will and share it with everyone. In order to show my talents and realize myself, I need more time, understanding and some special conditions. Then I will find my place in society, I will be very necessary, useful and interesting.

If you're just a passerby and you meet me on the street, use the instructions. It will help you understand how to react to my behaviour:

Don't do:

Don't pay too much attention to me. Don't touch me or look at me closely. Even if you do it with the best of intentions, it still scares me! My behaviour will only get worse.
Don't explain the rules of decency to me. I will not hear this from a stranger and will not understand it at all.
Don't tell me you're going to pick me up or call the police. And don't call the police for real.
Don't give advice and don't ask too many questions to my parents. They are not up to it.

To do:

Leave me alone, I'll calm down faster. Usually the best help is to just wait. When I get out of a vehicle, when I leave or enter a room, when I am noisy. Just wait.
If I have a tantrum and bite or hit myself. Just wait. This will pass.
If I'm standing by a swing and waiting for my turn, know that for me the swing is a super-value, and waiting is a super-task. Your understanding is extremely valuable for my mother. Give way to me if you can.

If you want to help, ask my mom how you can do it: "What help do you need?"
If I'm alone and in danger, tell me clearly and use visual cues what I need to do. For example: "Come in here" and open the door.
If there is a label on my clothes that says I can't be alone and my parents' number, contact them.
Mastering social rules is a super-task for me, and many specialists are working on it. Your tolerance is the best help for me and my mother.